Monday, May 12, 2014

A  Physician Pun Slam

A good pun may be admitted among the smaller excellences of lively conversation.

Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)

While I was in Minneapolis giving my talk “Direct Pay Independent Practice: Remnant of the Past, Wave of the Future,” unbeknownst to me,  a pun slam was taking place next to the hotel where the talk was given at the Mall of America.  Pun contestants were given a subject, then given 30 seconds to respond, then graded on a scale of 1 to 10 for excellence.

If I had been at the Mall and was given ObamaCare as a subject,  I might offer these puns.

·         Criticizing ObamaCare takes a sense of humus.   But he who throws dirt loses ground.

         I hate to be impunctuational, but Obama said  no one would lose their doctor or health plan. Period.

        The passage of ObamaCare was like making German sausage.   It was the wurst.

·         I stayed up all night preparing my speech on ObamaCare, but the light failed and  it dawned on me.

·         When you make ObamaCare jokes, it’s like getting a bladder infection,   urine trouble.

·         What do call an ObamaCare physician dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary.   A Throwback Thesaurus.

·         Why is a direct pay independent doctor like a baker.   He needs the dough.

And if these puns were not enough,  here is a series of puns summarizing doctors’ attitudes towards ObamaCare.

Allergists say,“ Scratch it,” while Dermatologists cry, “It’s a rash move.”

Gastroenterologists have a negative gut feeling about it, while Neurologists think the Administration has a lot of nerve.

Obstetricians feel those who made the law were laboring under a misconception while Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted.

Pathologists yell, "Over my dead body!" While Pediatricians cry, "Oh, Grow up! "

think the whole idea is madness, while Radiologists can see right through it or barium it.

General Surgeons have decided to wash their hands of the whole thing while Heart Surgeons say: bypass it.

Internists think it is a bitter pill to swallow, and Plastic Surgeons say, "This puts a whole new face on the matter."

Orthopedists say cast it aside, Urologists say,” Smash it and pass it.”

If it ain’t broken, don’t fix it, and if it’s caste in stone, it too shall pass, like this bad pun.

Anesthesiologists think the whole idea is a gas, and Cardiologists don’t have the heart to say no.

Head and Neck Surgeons say not in their neck of the woods.

Otolaryngologists say they have had an ear  full.

To sum up, no doctor under the health law will go unpunished.

Tweet:  Enough puntificating.  The point is: with ObamaCare, there is always gloom for improvement.

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