A Physician Pun Slam
good pun may be admitted among the smaller excellences of lively conversation.
While I was in Minneapolis giving my talk “Direct Pay
Independent Practice: Remnant of the Past, Wave of the Future,” unbeknownst to
me, a pun slam was taking place next to
the hotel where the talk was given at the Mall of America. Pun
contestants were given a subject, then given 30 seconds to respond, then graded
on a scale of 1 to 10 for excellence.
If I had been at the Mall and was given ObamaCare as a subject, I might offer these puns.
Criticizing ObamaCare takes a sense of
humus. But he who throws dirt loses
I hate to be impunctuational, but Obama said no one would lose their doctor or health plan. Period.
The passage of ObamaCare was like making German
sausage. It was the wurst.
I stayed up all night preparing my speech on
ObamaCare, but the light failed and it dawned on me.
When you make ObamaCare jokes, it’s like getting
a bladder infection, urine trouble.
What do call an ObamaCare physician dinosaur
with an extensive vocabulary. A Throwback Thesaurus.
Why is a direct pay independent doctor like a
baker. He needs the dough.
And if these puns were not enough, here is a series of puns summarizing doctors’
attitudes towards ObamaCare.
Scratch it,” while Dermatologists cry, “It’s a rash move.”
Gastroenterologists have a negative gut feeling about it, while Neurologists
think the Administration has a lot of nerve.
feel those who made the law were laboring under a
misconception while Ophthalmologists
considered the idea shortsighted.
Pathologists yell, "Over my dead body!" While Pediatricians
cry, "Oh, Grow up! "
Psychiatrists think the whole idea is madness, while Radiologists can
see right through it or barium it.
General Surgeons have decided to wash their hands of the whole thing
while Heart Surgeons say: bypass it.
Internists think it is a bitter pill to swallow, and Plastic
Surgeons say, "This puts a whole new face on the matter."
Orthopedists say cast it aside,
Urologists say,” Smash it and pass it.”
If it ain’t broken, don’t fix it, and if it’s caste in stone, it too shall
pass, like this bad pun.
Anesthesiologists think the whole idea is a gas, and Cardiologists
don’t have the heart to say no.
Head and Neck Surgeons say not in their neck of the woods.
they have had an ear full.
To sum up, no doctor under the health law will go unpunished.
Tweet: Enough puntificating. The point is: with ObamaCare, there is always
gloom for improvement.
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