Saturday, September 6, 2008

Political language - Election Kool-Aid Primer

Zippy Zingers, Negative Pot Shots, and Unfounded Accusations from Left and Right

Now that the conventions are over, the time has come to hone your best shots at your political opponents. Here is a starter kit. “They,” as used below refers to your despicable, untrustworthy, and hypocritical adversaries. Political Kool-Aid has come to mean blind allegiance to one’s idealogy, no matter what the consequences. Kool-Aid, as applied to politics, has its roots in the mass suicide of 900 in Guyana in 1978, when 900 followers of Jim Jones took cyanide laced kool-aid at the request of Jones.

1. Left. “They” are greedy and only care about enriching the rich and exploiting the middle class and the poor.. “They” believe in taking advantage of the huddled helpless masses.
1. Right. “They” only want to take your money and redistribute to others to gain votes and political power. “They” believe in government growth at any price, i.e, higher and higher taxes.

2. Left. “They” systematically undermine the Constitution and Rule of Law.
2. Right.“They” don’t even know what the Constitution is.

3. Left. “They” will overturn Roe B. Wade and will bring back clothes hanger abortions in back alleys. “They” don’t get it; a woman should have control of her body.
3. Right Why should we listen to baby killers? “They” don’t know what “adoption” and “life” mean. “They” get ii alright: It’s about the body politic, not the baby’s body.

4. Left. “They” go to war for unsavory reasons, like profit, greed, and revenge.
4. Right. “They” trust our enemies and seek peace at any price, including our liberty.

5. Left. “They” are ruthless torturers.
5. Right. “They” are naïve wimps.

6.Left. “They” have no diplomatic skills, and other nations hate us.
6.Right “They” fail to mention that respect and strength trump sweet talk.

7. Left. “They” have no compassion for the common people..
7. Right. “compassion” is “their” word for reshuffling the D.C. power deck.

8. Left. “The” never tell you: business is evil, deeply flawed, and badly needs rules and regulations.
8. Right. “They” will tell businesses what to do, who to hire, and what wages to pay.

9.Left. “They” cannot be trusted to set commodity prices – the staff and stuff of life.
9. Right. “They” will set all commodity, wholesale, and retail prices.

10. Left. “They” believe in a pitiless market driven health system, which ought to be profitless.
10. Right. “They” want to replace all private health care with an impersonal bureaucratic government system.

11. Left. “They” would undermine our public school systems
11. Right. “They” don’t realize public schools are a disaster, and need private competition.

12. Left. Bush and Cheney ought to be impeached or criminalized, even in retrospect.
12. Rihgt. “They” don’t know it yet, but they’re beyond reach and hating your opponents has limits.

13. Left. “They” want to pollute the environment and warm the planet with fossil fuels, build big gas guzzlers, kill polar bears, destroy the rain forests, flood the coastal cities, and erect unsafe nuclear plants.
13. Right. “They” neglect to say the economy will continue to run on oil and coal, not on hope, change, and political wind. If “they” are in charge, we will have to turn off the lights and freeze in the dark.

14. Left. “They” are irresponsible and rely on fickle markets rather than stable serious wisdom dispensed from on high.
14. Right. “They” should lighten up and stop taking themselves so damn seriously.

15. Left. “They” believe consumers are intelligent people who can be trusted to do the right thing. Only a protectionist government knows the “right thing to do.
15. Right. “They” don’t yet realize this is a capitalist not a socialist country, which depends on responsive markets not centralized command and control government.

16. Left. “They” believe terrorists are killers, not human beings who have been oppressed by the West, and who deserve U.S.civil rights.
16. Right. “They” have been slow to recognize that terrorists are enemies who deserve to be killed or judged in military tribunals.

17. Left. “They” usurp the rights of Americans when “They” electronically monitor email traffic.
17. Right. “They” don’t get it – America has terrorists who are sympathetic with other
terrorists and who help them plot attacks.

18. Left. “They” believe all is fair in war, even if it violates the rights of Americans. We believe in love and hope.
18. Right. “They ”forget to say we have not been attacked for 7 years, no thanks to ACLU lawyers.

19. Left. “They” label us as elitists because we represent an intellectually and morally superior secular society.
19.Right. Much of what “They” say is strictly bullshit; “They” have no lock on morality, compassion, and intellect.

20. Left. “They” have unfairly influenced society through
uninhibited, bigoted talk radio, Fox News, and the Wall Street Journal, all of whom spout the conservative line.
20. Right. “They” forget the main stream liberal media elite – CBS, NBC, ABC, CNN, Time, Newsweek, the NYT, and the Washington Post still controls the lion’s share of audience and media dollars.

21. Left. “They,” the people don’t seem to know that “they,” the Republicans, are bad for the collective good of the American people.
21.Right. “They,” the Democratic , don’t seem to take note that “they” have lost 7 of the last 10 presidential elections.

22. Left. “They” are short on eloquence and noble goals

22. Right.“They” are short on direct talk and what works.

23 Left . “They” are afraid to expose Sara Pilan to questioning by “serious” objective main stream journalists.
23. Right. “They”, i.e. Obama and Biden, will not appear on Limbaugh, Hannity, or other conservative venues to answer “tough’ questions.

24.Left. “They” are a close-minded party who move in lockstep behind mean-spirited pols.
24. Right. “They” are a left-leaning disorganized crowd led by the nose by


Mike Craycraft said...

How true these are. Hopefully, we can keep from turning right or left and instead just head in the correct direction. We need to figure out how to meet in the middle and actually get thing accomplished besides finger pointing and name calling.

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