Blogging Doggerel - Never Say Die

Old Internists never die, they just lose their differentials.


Old Family Physicians never die, they just keep it in the family.


Old Orthopedic Surgeons never die, they’re just get cast aside.


Old Cardiologists never die, they just lose heart.


Old Heart Surgeons never die, they just get bypassed.


Old Urologists never die, they just get stoned.


Old Pathologists never die, they just get disembodied.


Old Anatomists never die, they just become disorganized.


Old Endocrinologists never die, they just make their Last Gland Stand.


Old Hospitalists never die, they just walk down their last corridor.


Old Pulmonologists never die, they just breathe their last.


Old Fertility Experts never die, they just breed their last.


Old Obstetricians never die, they just can’t deliver anymore.


Old Surgeons never die, they just can’t cut it anymore.


Old Plastic Surgeons never die, they just do a final lifo-suction.


Old Gastroenterologists never die, they just disappear up their own fundamental aperture.


Old Neurologists never die, they just lose their nerve.


Old Psychiatrists never die, they just lose their minds.


Old Physiatrists never die, they just can’t rehab themselves anymore.


Old Radiologists never die, they just disappear into the shadows and lose their body image.


Old Dermatologists never die, they just shed their skins.


Old Ophthalmologists never die, they just make spectacles of themselves.


Old Allergists never die, their immune systems reject them.


Old Nephrologists never die, their machines fail and they lose their metabolic balance.


Old Physician Executives never die, they just cross the Great Divide to the Other Side.


Old Anesthesiologists never die, they just pass their final gas.


Old Critical Care physicians never die, they just reach critical mass.


Old Emergency Room Physicians never die, they just triage themselves.


Old Oncologists never die, they just lose their sense of tumor.


Old Otolaryngologists never die, they just close their ears, noses, and throats.


Old Osteopaths never die, they just get the credit they deserve.


Old Veterinarians never die, they just go to the dogs.