Monday, April 18, 2011

Eggsamining the Government Easter Bunny

Easter is near. It is time to ponder the eggspert workings of the Government Easter Bunny.

On the face of it, the whole concept of the Easter Bunny is eggsceptional. Imagine: a bunny laying eggs, carrying eggs, helping children look for eggs.

These images lead to a series of Government Easter Bunny queries.

• What’s so eggsordinary about the Government Easter Bunny?
It lays one big egg after another, each bigger than the other.

• What do you find in the Government Bunny’s Easter basket?
Taxpayer’s eggspenditures.

• Why does the Government Bunny paint its eggs red?
To match its end, from which its eggs it eggstrudes.

• What does the Government Bunny do when it runs out of red paint to color its eggs?
It covers them with red tape.

• What does the Government Bunny do when it runs out of chicken eggs?
It prints goose eggs.

• What do you call the Eggsexecutive branch of government?
The Presieggsedential branch.

• Where does the Government bunny get its eggs?
From whomever it can eggstract them.

• Why does it color its eggs?
To color its eggsternal bias.

• Why do you call an Easter egg hunt?
An eggsploratory search.

• How do bunnies stay healthy?

• What do you call Easter when you are hopping around?
Hoppy Easter!

• Why are people always tired in April?
Because they have just finished a long March

• What do you call a Government bunny with a large brain?
An egghead.

• What do you call a bunny with a dictionary in his pants?
Smarty pants.

• What do you call a mad bunny?
A rabid rabbit.

• What do you call ten bunnies marching backwards?
A receding hareline.

• What is the Government Easter Bunny suffering from after a hard day's work?
Eggstreme fatigue.

• What did the rabbit say to the carrot?
It's been nice gnawing you.

• How should you send a letter to the Easter Bunny?
By hare mail!

• What do you call angry rabbits who have just marched in a sweltering Easter parade?
Hot cross bunnies

• How does a rabbit make gold soup?
It begins with 24 carrots.

• Which side of a rabbit has the most fur?
The outside.

• How do you tell what’s going inside the Eastern Bunny?

• How did the soggy Easter Bunny dry himself?
With a hare dryer!

• What would you get if you crossed the Easter Bunny with Chinese food?
Hop suey!

• How do you catch a unique bunny?
Unique up on it!

• What did the bald Easter Bunny say?
Hare today, gone tomorrow.

• What should the writer of this blog do?
Realize his time has eggspired.

Tweet: When you closely eggsamine the Government Easter Bunny. You will realize it lays one big egg after another and covers it with red tape.


Mark @ Israel said...

Very well written and very funny! But the painful truth is there. The government tells lies and hides them from the people. And the people are suffering from this red tape in the government.

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